Too Much!

Published by christi on October 12, 2023October 12, 2023

(Sometimes the everyday gets to be too much!)

Does anyone ever ask why Peter, who must have known how to swim, and was skilled in the ways of boats and well-acquainted with storms, was suddenly afraid of drowning? Why would a man operating in his strong suit be suddenly rendered completely ineffective and helpless, panic stricken?

It doesn’t matter.

Except to me…because I find myself in exactly the same place…senses overloaded with my circumstances,  beginning to sink, feeling myself desperate, drowning!

God has made me for this work that I am doing. Yet my heart is crying out, “Lord, save me!”

Like Peter, I have witnessed miraculous supply of needs, deliverance from oppression by evil spirits, healing of wounds and infirmities. God has a history with me. (Never mind the pages of scripture…) Like Peter, I have seen God outwit the schemes of the evil one. And, like Peter, I trust too much in my own hard-wired strength.

I am reaching for the hand of Jesus like a drowning man! The wind and the waves are too much for me! It doesn’t matter that God has called me to this, instructed me to come here, designed me for this time and place! It’s too much! I can’t do it anymore.

I am sinking into complaint and bitterness! But I am designed as a woman of thanksgiving, as an overcomer because God has hardwired me to know that He is good. But He has also made me so that I can only walk in that good design by faith, holding on to Him!

What should have been a place of greatest confidence for Peter was instead a place of absolute fear and panic! His brains are so scrambled, he can’t tell who it is coming toward them walking on the dark, stormy sea. “Lord, if it is you…!”

(Just in case you were wondering, ghosts and spirits do not speak words of comfort in a crisis! Yet this apparition has already said, “Take heart. It is I. Do not fear!”)

Then, overwhelmed by the circumstances,  he cries out, “Lord, save me! Or I will drown.” (No condemnation for Peter here. I so identify.)

I must reach for the only hand that can bring me through.

I am sorry for putting my confidence in anything but You, Papa-God. Grow a deeper trust in You, who are bigger than the biggest waves, and under whose command the wind ceases.

Still following Jesus every day in the everyday,

Christi