Hope
(A shared journal entry)
O Papa-God, so many things and people to pray for!
- The girls in my small group – those who come and those who don’t.
- My failures in following up with those girls.
- The young men I disciple to lead worship.
- My failure to contact a potential new group member.
- I haven’t taken Manger stars to my neighbors, haven’t cleared any more shelves in the room that needs to be cleared out, haven’t painted the eaves.
- There are the sleeping bags I have not given to the people I see sleeping on the streets.
- Not enough space is ready for planting in the garden.
- The laundry is not done.
- What was I thinking getting 25 pounds of carrots???
- One-on-ones with my grandchildren.
- Recording!
- Writing!
I cannot do it all! God, show me what to eliminate…or how to fit it in…I do not have the stamina I used to have, or maybe the depression I am fighting is sapping my strength. (I’ve always hoped I’d be like Caleb — as strong at 80 as he was at 40.)
You are both sovereign and merciful! Thank You that You lead us according to your good and wise plan.
Today’s verse: Deuteronomy 10:12
So now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you? Only to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, so serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.
Oh, Is that all? Sheesh! Only unconditional surrender, absolute obedience, complete devotion, and undeterred determination — Oh that’s all! I can’t do it — maybe for a few seconds. Otherwise I fail. So may superlatives!
You are deserving of these: worthy and in the place where these are Your right. The most I can muster is “some”…not that I do not desire to give, love, obey more; I am aware of my failures and human “limitations.” (That sounds like excuses in the face of a command. Sniveling.)
Recognizing that the ability and power to obey this must come from You, and the continuing need for forgiveness generated by that failure is HUGE, daily, hourly, moment-by-moment I must love You with all I am and at the same time be in repentance for failing to do so while receiving Your mercy for the same!
Holy Spirit, this is a YOU-sized job! None of this can may or will be done in my strength! Only YOU, O God! Thank you for exchanging my failures for the righteousness of Jesus through my trust in His sacrifice! My hope is in YOU!
Hope is not wishful thinking, but confident expectation because of His faithfulness.
Hoping in Him as I am
Following Jesus every day in the everyday,
Christi
PS I would love to hear about your conversations with God!
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