Of Gnats and Ruins
My blood pressure was through the roof!
And then I was in tears. (It is so hard to cry wearing a mask in a doctor’s office with people who are accustomed to giving compassionate medical care, but seem a little at a loss to deal with tears-out-of-nowhere!)
The PA thought it was because I thought I would have to take more meds. (I would rather adjust my lifestyle than take more meds…but that story is for another time.)
I was crying because I was full of both worry and shame.
Worry is fear spread thinly across the surfaces of one’s mind, and I was worried. A beloved son-in-law was about to go in for what looked to be a lengthy, complex surgery, and despite the skill and experience of the surgical team, there was no promise regarding the outcome. I was afraid for my daughter and their children. I feared the loss for myself of this very dear son-of-another-mother.
I was ashamed that I was not walking in the perfect peace that God promises those whose mind and heart are fixed on Him (Isaiah 26:3). (My blood pressure ratted on me.) If I am not walking in His peace, where is the evidence that I am a follower, a truster of Jesus? Where is the proof to the world that ours is a very good God!
Jesus said that the person who hears His words and does not do them is like a fool who uses sand as a foundation (Matthew 7:24-27). It doesn’t matter how much I know of what Jesus said and did, if I don’t act on it, by making changes in what I base my life on. As a foundation, the lies and misconceptions I believe will be as sturdy as sand. Any “peace” that rests on them will be swept away at the first hint of storm.
There are many other things — mostly little– that worry me like gnats. I waste much time and energy fussing at them and swatting at them, when it would be more effective to eliminate the source. (No, I am not going to become a hermit, so I am insulated from the drama that is life!) Instead I must seek the wisdom of God as to what falsehoods I am using for shelter… and take up the challenge of dismantling them…or just recognize them for the crumbled ruins they are and run to the arms of Jesus who IS the Truth!
So thankful for the refuge that is Jesus! That’s why I am…
Following Jesus every day in the everyday,
Christi
0 Comments