Dark Days
Elijah had his dark days.
David pretended he was crazy.
Jesus wept in sorrow over His own suffering and what He saw was coming for Jerusalem.
I guess that means I’m in pretty good company…though I do not claim to breathe the rarified air of these faith-famous ones.
If you are looking for a happy ending, close this post now. I am about to get real about my struggle. It’s nothing dramatic. No death or betrayal. No fatal disease or plague of locusts. Those might be easier… At least there would be a level of heroism to my pathos.
I’m just weary and discouraged. The amount of pain (low-level and almost everywhere) is disheartening. The yard is a disaster. The script I am writing is two weeks overdue. My weight is stuck. Easter is just days away, and I have none of the provisions for that celebration that I desire.
These things I wrestle with are not great spiritual enemies, but stupid housekeeping tasks, weeds and dirty floors. You’d think I’d have figured this out by now. I am full of recriminations.
I can’t see whether there is, or will be, any good outcome from all this. I am not in a position to know. If I did, I would be trying to manage the outcome instead of trying to keep the feet of my Master in view.
Maybe that’s my problem… trying to manage outcomes on the basis of what I can see…looking for certain outcomes instead of looking for Jesus.
Jesus, show me where You are. Let me find Your feet again, and
follow You every day in the everyday.
Christi
P.S. He has brought me this far. And He will not fail me now.
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