Choices and Forgiveness
I am not talking about the choice to forgive.
There are plenty of voices calling us to forgive…the Holy Spirit, our consciences, Christian writers; even people with no connection to God know that hanging on to bitterness when offended is not a good plan: ulcers, high blood pressure, adrenal fatigue. What evil villain do you know of that doesn’t carry a grudge? Everybody values forgiveness.
I am talking about the choice to be forgiven.
This week much of the Christian world is remembering the walk of sorrow and pain that Jesus took on His way to fulfill the ultimate purpose for which He came into the world: payment of our otherwise-unpayable debt to God. If, as John says, Jesus died for the sins of the whole world, why isn’t the whole world celebrating release from guilt and shame, and escape from everlasting, unremitting torture in hell? Even people who identify as Jesus-followers often carry mountains of guilt, while singing “Jesus paid it all.” Why?
Some of us have been misinformed that grace is for the “first time,” and after that it’s earned. (Ever read Galatians?) Others have the mistaken belief that a load of guilt is a badge of honor for a Christian, since we know all about the holiness of God and our continual failure to live up to our own expectations. Many of us are haunted by the memory of an event during which we failed on multiple levels. The replay of that memory can bury us under an avalanche of remorse and dismay in an instant. Why? What happened to “He whom the Son sets free is free, indeed?”
Part of the answer is that while Jesus’ suffering and death paid for all sin for all time, we have no such all-encompassing option for dealing with the events that plague our memories. We cannot un-remember our deeds. (Being forgiven is not the same as amnesia.) It demolishes the barrier between us and God…from His side. The problem is from our side, with many faces.
We tire of bringing the wrongs we remember to Him; it hurts our pride to have to face so many. (There is no other cure for pride.)
We fear He will respond to our confessions as the irritable adults of our childhood did: “Fine. You’re forgiven; just don’t let it happen again.” (This is the exact opposite of Divine forgiveness.)
We expect to be rebuffed after reaching the load limit we anticipate from human endurance: “I can’t handle any more. Stop talking about it!” (Our Papa-God never tires of throwing a party for every repentant sinner, every time!)
We keep hoping that we will be improved enough that we will somehow no longer need His forgiveness, or Him. (Seriously? Have we been paying attention? Romans 6, 7 & 8, anyone?)
We are silent, keeping our sin “to ourselves,” lest God somehow find out the truth about us. (no comment…)
The guilt that pokes us in the ribs or keeps us awake at night is a gift from our Eternally-Loving, All-Seeing, Ever-Celebrating, Sin-Expunging, Papa-God. It is an invitation. If it were from the Godfather instead of Father God, it would be a terrifying offer we couldn’t refuse. As it is, it is an invitation that could not be more infused with love and the offer of freedom and joy! He will not force it on us, but He has provided all for us, and delights to give it to us. It is already paid for! Hallelujah! What a Savior!
What will we choose?
Following Jesus every day in the everyday,
Christi
P.S. He is risen!
