Small Things

Published by christi on October 28, 2021October 28, 2021

This morning did not begin well.

I had gone to sleep last night nursing an emotional wound, not seeking healing or comfort for it, just deciding to hold on to it. I went so far as to plan how I would coldly respond if my offender approached me in a friendly manner. It was a long night.

I woke up sorry on a number of levels:

My choice robbed me of sleep. I am tired.

It murdered my peace. I am bitter.

It ruined my joy. I am sad.

Hmmm…steal, kill and destroy…Now where have I heard of that unholy trinity?

Must have been some gigantic offense, right?

Nope. I was just disappointed that I was not heard.

I had an expectation that this person would continue listening after I gave the headline about what happened, so I went on talking about the small details of how the event came about. When I discovered that my offender had stopped listening after the headline and returned to what was going on before I made the “announcement,” I was hurt, especially after my listener expressed frustration over being “required” to listen to more.

As a child I learned that the grownups in my life only had time for big, important crises. There was always someone whose trouble or difficulty was greater than mine, therefore I was a person of reduced value. (As a mother of many, always active in ministry, I am pretty sure my children felt that way, too. To my children:  Please forgive me! And receive this truth:  You are of inestimable value! Please call me, and give me as many small details about your day as you like! Grandkids, too!)

Reflecting on this idea has caused me to wonder how many times approach my conversations with the same measuring stick. I tend to measure my own value in terms of “what I accomplished that I can see or measure.” Thank you, Papa-God that you do not measure us that way!

The phone rings. I see the name on the caller ID. I roll my eyes. “This had better be important; I’ve got things to do.” (Oh dear! Am I really thinking this? Am I so purpose/accomplishment-focused that I am missing important “small stuff,” like loving people?)

How much of our sense of value comes from being heard in the minutiae? If our closest relationships were built only on headlines, when would we learn how to trust, and be trustworthy? If God only “came through” for us in big crises, how would we learn we could count on Him to care for our small, vulnerable hearts?  Jesus pointed out that one mark of the Father’s trustworthiness is that He keeps track of how many hairs are on each of our heads. Talk about caring about the little things!

Jesus said, “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much.”

O, Jesus, make me faithful in the small things…like listening to the small details when I’m busy and forgiving the “small” offenses when I am disappointed. Stop me in my tracks when I measure my value and those of others by whether I can check something off my to-do list! This is not what You do! I want to be as loving as You are.

That’s why I am…

Following Jesus every day in the everyday,

Christi

P.S. I saw this great quote earlier this week. (What do you think of God’s sense of timing?)

“When we don’t acknowledge our disappointment, it becomes a hard part in our hearts.”

–Stacey Thacker