Fig Leaves

Published by christi on June 25, 2020June 25, 2020

Knowing that our God is intimately aware and knowledgeable of all our inner thoughts as well as outer deeds can be a reason to clothe ourselves in fig leaves and hide in the bushes, or it can be the best reason to run to Him with our hearts, twisted and broken, battered and barricaded as they may be.

Running away from His gaze always results in turmoil and chaos, tightness in my chest and extreme distractibility. After several days of abbreviated quiet times with Papa-God, I was finally able/willing to shed my fig leaf. I had become aware of the fraying of my spirit, the eroding of my peace (which points out that my so-called peace had been at least partially circumstantial, and not the kind that Jesus says He gives regardless of the circumstances). I found myself in a God-arranged situation designed to challenge me on a few beliefs.

Our emotions are always a response to something we perceive in our inner man to be true. They may not be a reliable indicator of objective, scientific or legally- verifiable reality, but they are a REALLY good indicator of what our hearts believe. Mine were shredder-meets-encyclopedia.

This morning’s emotional cocktail included: a shot of self-righteous judgment, a jigger  of independent self-reliance, muddled with some arrogant pride, with a twist of rebellious entitlement, stirred not shaken by the looming chaos of unfinished tasks and the Holy Spirit.

The ingredient list included statements like:

_________ should know better!

For shame!

I’ve got to figure out how to do______________!

I can do this myself.

I have to do everything myself.

Just let me do it.

I have the right to have things as I like them…

One by one, as the Spirit exposed my thinking, I began to break my verbal agreements with the dark forces, declare the truth and receive His peace.

“I break agreement with these lies and embrace the truth: Only You know what other people need; Your Son’s sacrifice removed all the shame that might have been due Your people; I cannot figure this out -wisdom comes from You and begins with holy fear of You; I can do nothing apart from You; ‘my way’ is not the only way to do things; my righteousness is not self-generated, but from You through Jesus. I relinquish my so-called right to have things the way I want, or be done the way I desire.”

The tightness in my chest eased and I was able to focus on Him and His word, wrapped in His righteousness and not some scratchy fig leaf!

Still following Jesus every day in the everyday,

Christi