Adding to Grace

Published by christi on October 17, 2019October 17, 2019

For the last several weeks I have been diligently logging what I eat and how much of it on an app. It tells me how many calories I am allowed to consume if I want to get rid of about a pound a week. It adds calories to the allowance for steps and other kinds of exercise. My cardiologist said that for every extra ten pounds I carry, my circulatory system has to grow a mile of extra blood vessels. That means extra work for my heart, higher blood pressure, more sore joints and a whole host of other things I may not be aware of.

I could tell my jeans were too tight and my profile was beginning to resemble Alfred Hitchcock…but I had mostly done wishful thinking about getting rid of any of it. I have all kinds of genetic and hormonal things working against change, so when my P.A. suggested I use the app, I was skeptical, but knew I needed to make some kind of change. That was 12 weeks ago. For the first eight weeks, all went well, numbers coming down, clothes fitting better. The last four have been frustrating! Instead of going down, the numbers have been creeping up!

What could I be doing wrong? I have increased my water, my protein, my exercise…I have kept my macros in the proper ranges.. but I have not been accepting the grace given.

Instead of thankfully enjoying all the calories I was allowed, I have been stingy, working hard to leave as many as I could on the table, trying to not eat the extra calories that exercise had burned away. As a result, my body has started holding on to everything I give it…tightly! Instead of enjoying the generosity, I have been trying to accomplish something by deprivation that can only be accomplished through the right kind of abundance!

I find myself in the same boat with Jesus…instead of joyfully celebrating His forgiveness and freedom, I am determined to be worthy of it, or deserve at least some of it. Scripture tells us that the Father, who did not spare His own Son, but offered Him up for us, will, along with that Son, freely give us all good things! That’s grace! In abundance!

Grace can only be enjoyed or spurned. It cannot be deserved or earned; to do so makes it not-grace!

Jesus, forgive me for trying to add to your abundant grace by trying to deserve it.

Still following Jesus every day in the everyday,

Christi